


Star Wars, Episode IX: Children of Fate

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Heartbreak, Insomnia, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Minor Finn/Rey (Star Wars), Not FinnRose, Not Luke friendly, Not Reylo, Past Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Retcons retcons everywhere, Sorry Not Sorry, Space Opera, episode nine speculation, not Damerey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-28 18:53:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16728930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: The war with the First Order continues — as well as the war for Kylo Ren’s soul.





	1. Autopilot

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: This is my first canon-compliant-ish episode. Hopefully it works. Also, I haven’t read the more recent Poe Dameron comics (except excerpts), so I am very much making my own version of what happened up. Hope it doesn’t suck.

The main reason that Poe hadn’t completely lost it when he’d seen Ben — Kylo — on Crait was that he was usually calm in a crisis. 

Usually. 

This, though...

He’d made jokes about it with Rey. Things like calling each other “torture buddies” (though she didn’t seem to be warming up to it as much as he was). But that was just what he did, really; jokes didn’t really hide the hurt. It didn’t dull the pain forever. 

Jokes didn’t mean he’d just gotten over it. 

According to General Organa, they were on their way to Bespin. They could find refuge there. Lando Calrissian was an old friend of General Organa’s, after all. They could be safe there — as safe as they could be with the First Order on their tail. 

And Poe could finally take it all in. 

He still had a box of Ben’s old possessions with him. He went through them, not quite thinking, mostly doing it on what he could only assume was Autopilot. To quote Atton Rand, a droid could fly this thing. There was Ben’s old calligraphy set, and a calligraphized version of Poe’s name on a sheet of paper. Poe Dameron. It was amazing how Ben could handle it with such care and precision, each stroke having purpose and love behind it. He could still remember Ben giving it to him — Ben had been eighteen, Poe twenty-one, and Poe had been crazy for him beyond hope, beyond measure. Ben had given it to him, his eyes wide and brown and hopeful, and yet afraid, like he was offering a piece of his heart to Poe and was afraid Poe would reject it. (Poe hadn’t. He hadn’t known if Ben returned his feelings, but he hadn’t rejected it)

There were other things in the box too. Ben had loved to draw and paint, and he was good at it too. Every graceful line, every color. Poe pored over the drawings and paintings, almost like he was trying to find a clue he had missed. Was he not enough for Ben? Was he just — ?

”Hey.” Rey’s voice was soft, but it jarred Poe out of his thoughts quickly enough. He slammed the box shut, nearly hurting his fingers in the process. “Are you okay?”

Poe nodded. "Fine. Can’t sleep.”

”I can’t either.” Rey rubbed her temples. “Forgive me for asking, Poe, but that box...”

”It belonged to a friend of mine.” 

“Oh.” Rey looked not quite convinced, but like she knew better than to pry more. Poe was grateful, at least. 

“So what are you doing here?” Poe said. 

“You were upset,” Rey said. “I felt it. Everyone else was asleep, so...”

”So you came.” Poe supposed he owed Rey some thanks. “You know what, Rey...we need caffa. Both of us.”

”Agreed.” Rey had actually tried the drink and expressed amazement that there was nothing like it back on Jakku. Even in the main hold of the Falcon, there was something about Rey’s presence that was comforting. Not in a romantic way or anything, but simply sharing a kinship with someone. Kinships were always good. Important, really.

Even drinking caffa in the main hold, Poe said, “You want to...y’know, talk about it? It’s not the torture, is it? Stars willing I sometimes have those nightmares.” He didn’t mention that Kylo Ren had been someone he loved. He couldn’t bear it, actually.

”It wasn’t just that. Snoke’s ship...” 

She trailed off. Poe spoke, gently. “Rey,” he said. “I don’t want to pressure you, but B — I mean, Kylo...”

That wasn’t a good idea. Rey looked at him. “I thought I saw you in Kylo’s memories,” she said. “Did you know him?”

“For my part.” He could remember days cloud-watching and days simply talking, and his chest felt like a vise had gripped it. He had to look away from Rey for the moment, as his eyes were hot with unshed tears.

”I’m so sorry.”

”Not your fault. Nothing you did.” He still wondered if there was something he did. If he wasn’t good enough, for Ben. 

Rey spoke. “It wasn’t your fault either, Poe. Something...happened the night that Ben destroyed the Temple."

”Did it?” Poe found himself looking at Rey, really looking at her. He had to know. Everything Ben had hidden from him that night, he needed to know.

”It was Luke. Luke...sensed that Snoke was after Ben.” Rey took a deep breath. “He...had this moment where he contemplated killing Ben but he couldn’t go through with it...”

“He what?” Poe couldn’t comprehend it. Ben hadn’t even done anything yet. Had he? He had done nothing wrong, and Luke had pulled a lightsaber on him...

Rey nodded. “I’m sorry, Poe. Ben...woke up just in time to see his uncle’s ignited lightsaber. I admit it’s still an incomplete puzzle; I don’t know why Luke did it no matter how much he tried justifying himself, and I don’t know everything else that happened.”

”Ben said goodbye to me that night. Said he had to complete his training.” Poe was now putting together the puzzle pieces he had. “He told me he was keeping me safe. Not that that did any good, in the end.” A beat. “All because of Luke?”

”Partially,” Rey said. 

Silence. Then, “So Luke sacrificing himself was just based on a lie.”

Rey seemed to be considering it. Poe continued. “I shouldn’t say this, but he tried to kill Ben...how could he be so unfeeling?” His expression darkened. “Then again, I don’t think he loved Ben, or liked him. There is that.”

”I’m sorry.” Rey said. “I wish I had better news.”

”Not your fault. Nothing you did. It was...hard to hear, Rey, but I’m glad you told me the truth.” Poe swallowed. “Thank you.”

Rey nodded. “I better get back to bed.”

”Same. Goodnight, Rey.”

”Goodnight.”

And heading back to bed, Poe’s head swam with ideas as to what he could — should — do next, more than anything else. 

 


	2. Bottomless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo broods, and Finn and Rey hash it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

The Supreme Leader’s chambers were still and empty except for the figure of Kylo Ren sitting in them, completely still except for the sound of his breathing. He couldn’t say that he was the biggest fan of meditation, actually. It was one of those instances where he was simply alone with his thoughts, and he found those thoughts more than slightly unsettling. 

He half-expected his wandering thoughts to be on the scavenger. It would be expected, wouldn’t it? One last indignity, her closing the door in his face, effectively severing their connection. It would be one of those things that he expected to just drift to him. But like with the snow fight not long before, back when she hated him, he found that it was the least of his worries. 

Instead, his mind drifted to the image of his father’s dice. He could remember holding them when he was a child, when —

No. Let the past die. Kill it if you have to. And yet, it seemed that the past was coming back to haunt him in earnest. His father’s dice, golden and gleaming, his days at the Academy, Poe —

His chest clenched. He couldn’t bear it. Thinking of Poe on the rack, screaming, crying, and he had done this —

All under Snoke’s orders. All this should have made him stronger. Instead, it split his spirit to the bone. 

It wasn’t just Han Solo’s death that had hurt. It had been Poe as well. At least Poe had no idea who he was. 

But he knew now, didn’t he? 

Kylo closed his eyes. He forced himself to focus on his anger, the bottomless pit of rage that seemed to have been unleashed ever since he killed Snoke. He focused on every familial rejection, everything he lost...and getting angry was all too easy. 

***

The main hold of the Falcon was crowded. Even as Rey took her place next to Finn, who was still watching over the black-haired girl that Rey had seen earlier, Finn seemed to be picking at his food absently. 

“Hey,” she said, gently. “Are you okay?” 

Finn sighed. “I’ve been thinking about a lot of things.”

”Sorry for asking, but the girl — ”

”Rose?” Finn said. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, Rey, she’s brilliant, and we’re friends, but...” He wet his lips. “That’s the problem. When she kissed me, I should have felt something. I should have felt that...spark.” He gestured with his hands a little even as he spoke. “I should have felt anything. But I didn’t. I was just in shock. And...damn, I’m not making any sense, am I?”

”No,” Rey said. “You are.” She swallowed. “With Kylo...he just let me down.”

”How so?”

Rey told him. She found she couldn’t quite look him in the eye in that moment; she couldn’t help but feel completely embarrassed. She was sensible, after all. A sensible woman, forced into being that way by years on Jakku. And yet she had nearly thrown away everything because of a sliver of good in Kylo that had been effectively snuffed out — and she hated to even think that! — on the Supremacy after he’d killed Snoke. Finn spoke when she was done. 

“You did nothing wrong,” he said. “Absolutely nothing. This man, if you can call him a man, is incapable of loving anyone. The way he treated you...you are worth so much more of that...beast...”

”You really think so?” Rey said. 

“The moment I saw you on Jakku, I knew you were a strong, capable, wonderful woman who deserved more than she got.”

Rey smiled faintly. “You do too, Finn. You do too.”

They sat together at the table, and it was there that Finn spoke. “I like your hair,” he said. “It’s...different.”

Rey chuckled, if weakly. She had considered tying it back up, but after what her parents had done to her, it felt wrong to tie it back up. To leave it back up. She turned to Finn. “You really think so?”

”Yeah.”

They sat in the main hold, and Rey knew that what Finn said wasn’t entirely true. Kylo had likely loved, once upon a time. But here...

She hated to admit it. But maybe, just maybe, there was too much evil in him. 

She didn’t know what she would do now that Finn was here, that they were reunited. But hopefully, they could begin again. 


End file.
